What is self confidence?
It is your belief in your abilities, your assurance that you are capable of doing something or being something. It has nothing to do with being better than someone else, but it is about feeling good about yourself, your abilities, and your decisions. Self belief is the level of your assurance in your own personal ability or power, or in your personal judgement. It is an attitude of mind – a positive belief that you are capable of something.
Knowing how to build confidence can be important in achieving success, but we often rely on success being achieved first before we feel self confident! So, for some people a virtuous circle is established in which they are confident of success, and their confidence leads to success, which, in turn leads to increased self belief, and so on. Sadly, for many people, the opposite is also true – a vicious circle can also be easily established, in which a person’s lack of self confidence leads to self defeating behaviour, which leads to failure, which leads to a further reduction in self belief, and that person then establishing a belief that he or she can’t be successful.
Some psychologists hold the view that self confidence is a combination of ‘self-efficacy’ and ‘self esteem’. Self efficacy is the belief in our mastery of necessary skills, and the belief that we will be successful. It is thought that high levels of self-efficacy lead to higher success and higher levels of satisfaction. It is also clear that self confident people also have high levels of self esteem – they feel good about themselves and believe in themselves.
This section of the website is all about how to build confidence. First, on this page, I take a general look at self confidence – how we exhibit high or low confidence behaviours, and how self hypnosis can help improve self confidence.
High Confidence Behaviours
Self confident people are very positive about themselves and their abilities – confident enough to not require constant praise, although they find it easy to accept praise! Such people seem to know how to build confidence in themselves. Here are a few examples of the behaviour of confident people:
- Being willing to take acceptable risks;
- Accepting praise graciously;
- Waiting to hear praise from others rather than constantly boasting;
- Admitting mistakes and learning from mistakes – being willing to try again but taking the lessons learned in to new attempts;
- Doing what you think is right rather than just doing what you think is expected.
Low Confidence Behaviours
People who lack self confidence tend to behave quite differently, and seem to be unaware how to build confidence. Here are some examples of the behaviours of people who lack self confidence:
- Avoid taking risks;
- Deflect praise, or is dismissive of compliments;
- Boast about their achievements;
- Cover up mistakes or blame other people or circumstances, and take failure as a reason not to try again;
- Adjusting your behaviour based on your concept of what other people think.
Self hypnosis for self confidence
I am a hypnotherapist, so, as you would expect, if you ask me how to build confidence, I would suggest hypnotherapy and self hypnosis as the most effective way! Self hypnosis is a very effective modality for improving self confidence. In self hypnosis, the subject can visualise success being achieved, both in the past and in the future.
A with all use of self hypnosis, the work is with the unconscious mind, so that the unconscious mind sees the success and cant translate that into behaviours: the subject has more confidence, behaves in ways more likely to generate success, is successful, becomes more confident.