There are a number of easy ways to increase your self confidence. The aim of these simple confidence boosters is to improve the way you feel. If you feel good about yourself, it’s easier to feel self confident. So, here are a few simple techniques that can quickly improve the way you feel, and increase your self belief.
It is worth remembering that for many people the low level of confidence they have in themselves has been established over a long period of time, so it may be that it takes a little while for the situation to be reversed. It’s important to try the techniques on this page (and on other pages on the site) repeatedly and persistently – they do work, but you have to be persistent.
- Set yourself realistic goals and targets. Sometimes we destroy our own self confidence by setting ourselves unrealistic targets and aims, or by having unrealistically high expectations of ourselves. When we fall short of those aims or expectations our confidence takes a battering! So, as a means of changing that, set yourself some realistic and achievable goals – and when you achieve them, allow yourself to feel the self confidence that achievement creates. So, although this may seem simple, achieving your goals is one of the most effective confidence boosters – so make sure you set realistic goals!
- See yourself achieving (in the future as well as reliving past successes). Visualisation is a very valuable tool for improving self confidence. Visualise yourself succeeding – remember past successes and see yourself succeeding at things in the future.
- Your body language can also be a gauge of your level of self confidence, so:
- Dress well. This may sound too simple to be true, but I’ve proved it to myself on more than one occasion! If you dress well then you will feel better about yourself and more readily feel capable;
- Walk with your head up and shoulders back (nb – this doesn’t have to be extreme!!). Improved posture is helpful.
- Write a short ‘speech’ extolling your virtues and achievements (especially your achievements – and we can all find something that we’ve done that has generated congratulations!) – read it to yourself every day for 30 days – and once each week thereafter.
- Be positive about other people – this generates a positive attitude, allowing you to be positive about yourself and your own achievement. Give compliments – and learn to accept compliments.
- Write a list of all the ways in which you have been successful - all the times that you have achieved things, or overcome perceived limitations - all the times when other people have acknowledged your abilities or your success. This is one of the most important confidence boosters.
- Think back over the last twenty four hours and think of something that you have done well - it can be something major, but it can also be something small, as long as it is something that you have been able to do - something true; something real. It can be something at home, or at work, or something relating to something that interests you - but it is something that you have been capable of doing. Then write down what it is, and perhaps, as the days and weeks go by, you can begin to write down each day something that you have done well - something that you’ve achieved - something that is positive about you and your abilities. Then as you continue to review all those good things that you have done you can build and strengthen your self-confidence and change the you that is the product of past experiences and conditioning.
- It’s very easy to become trapped by beliefs caused by past events. But they are the past, and all that is, is now! So you can remove the negative effects of past events, and you can remove the negative emotion of past events by seeking and understanding the positive outcomes from these events. So from now on, whenever you notice that you have a belief that restricts you that is caused by a negative event from the past, I’d like you to look for all the positive outcomes that also came from that event, so that you can begin to generate a confidence in yourself as you know that you can see the positive in whatever happens, and you can take greater confidence in yourself from whatever happens to you.
- Begin to see yourself in positive outcomes. Visualise yourself being successful - achieving what you wish. Think of a situation in which you would like to be successful, or in which you need to achieve or perform. Take yourself into that situation- not as an observer, but inside yourself - experiencing the event as you would experience it if it was happening to you as a participant. Imagine everything going as you want it - see what you’ll see, hear what you’ll hear, and imagine how good it will feel to be confident and successful, and to achieve what you want. See the positive outcome, and hear people saying to you: “well done”, “congratulations”, “great job”. Allow yourself to be filled with the positive feelings of achieving success.
So there are a few confidence boosters - a few simple ways that self confidence can be improved. Try them all so that you can find the one that is most effective for you.